Zombies Take Over Mt. Olympus
Once upon a time, there lived many happy gods and goddesses on Mount Olympus. But one day, when Jupiter, Pluto, Venus, Minerva, Hercules and where all going about their day, a herd of zombies came stomping through their precious town. The gods and goddesses didn’t pay them much attention until the zombies began to destroy everything and anything they lay their bony hands upon. Jupiter, being the king of gods, decided he was going to ask them nicely to stop crushing their town for they did not like the idea of aliens bombarding into their town and destroying it. When Jupiter politely told the zombies to try to not touch everything, the head zombie said “Vos movete de mea via” Jupiter thought they were mumbling and actually couldn’t speak so he went under the impression that he understood what he had asked him to do and returned to his daily affairs. When suddenly Minerva comes running into Jupiter’s house crying hysterically.
Jupiter calmed her down and told her to not cry, Jupiter hated seeing his daughters upset and petrified. When Jupiter asked what has happened, Minerva explains to him how she was walking through the forest when a zombie hanging by a tree whispered in her ear “Mutabo vos in unum nostrum” Jupiter was in a state of confusion because he didn’t think the zombies were speaking a language. But when Minerva told him that she knew exactly what he said to her, Jupiter was enraged. He couldn’t bear to know that the zombies were after his little girl and he wanted to kick them out at this instant to protect Minerva. Jupiter gathered Pluto, Venus, Hercules, and Victoria and told them about everything that has happened. And after brainstorming to come up with a really good plan to defeat the zombies, all the gods and goddesses were ready to fight.
The zombies knew what was coming at them and they chanted “Superare nos non poteritis!” They repeated this over and over again. It didn’t take long for the zombies to realize that they weren’t going anywhere and that they should figure out where to go before the gods and goddesses came at them. “Ubi sunt dei deaeque,” said the head zombie. “Eos non video,” said the other zombie. The gods and goddesses were hiding in the forest deciding whether they should attack now or wait until dawn so that the zombies are at their weakest. They came to the conclusion that they were better off waiting it out, so all the gods and goddesses went to bed.
At around midnight though, when the zombies were at their strongest, they agreed to fight them at that instant. “Pugnabimus contra eos!” yelled a zombie, and they all followed after him. There were 31 zombies, so they decided to split up because if they stayed together, it would be easy for the gods and goddesses to hear them and attack them all at once. So, 6 of them went to Jupiter, where he easily took them all down with his powerful thunderbolts. Another 6 went after Pluto but could not fully attack him since Pluto ruled the underworld and therefore, the dead. With only 19 zombies left, the zombies had to figure out a way to sneak up on the gods and goddesses.
But the zombies did not know that the gods were planning a sneak attack on them. “Cavete!” screamed a zombie. And the zombies scattered as the gods and goddesses attacked.
Minerva, thinking she had enough power to take on the head zombie that had recently told her that he wanted to turn her into a zombie, ran off after him to battle him off. With her crested helm and being armed with a shield and spear, she was able to overcome the head zombie! Minerva felt accomplish and yet again, the great Olympian goddess was not let down by her powers of war and defense. Caught up in the moment, Minerva was not paying attention to her surroundings and had not realized that 2 zombies were secretly transforming her into a zombie from behind. Until finally, one of the zombies said in great happiness “Ita Vero! Fit!” Minerva turned around and saw that they were indeed achieving what their dead head zombie wanted to accomplish, which was to turn her into a zombie. Already feeling weak, Minerva helplessly collapsed to the floor feeling ever tiny ounce of her blood turn cold. There was nothing Minerva could do but to wait to be recognized from afar and be rescued by another god or goddess.
At last, Venus knew something was amiss and went searching for Minerva. It didn’t take long for Venus to find the zombies and Minerva considering the ginormous green light rays being caused due to the zombie process Minerva was going through. Venus captures the eyes of both zombies almost instantly, ending the zombie process. Although Minerva was set free, she was still very weak and unable to get up or move. Venus, with her incredibly good looks, won both zombies over and destroyed them as soon as she got the chance. Venus began to help Minerva up and realized she didn’t have the strength to lead her back to the battlefield where Jupiter, Pluto and Hercules were fighting the rest of the zombies. Therefore, Venus took Minerva and created a bed made out of leaves for Minerva to lay on in the meantime.
With just 5 zombies left, each god and goddess focused their attention on just one zombie, forgetting that they were one goddess short. The zombie snuck its way to Minerva where he began the zombie process again. The zombies wanted more than anything to convert Minerva into a zombie because they all believed she would help them overcome the gods and goddesses considering the fact that she was the goddess of war and defense. Unexpectedly, Hercules comes flying in on Pegasus. With Hercules’ strength, it didn’t take long for him to kill the zombie, officially ending the war. “Non possum id credere, superabamur” were the zombie’s last words. When it came down to it, if it weren’t for Hercules’ strength to finish up with the first zombie, ability to fly on Pegasus that quickly and ability to finish up with the other zombie, the gods and goddesses would’ve most likely lost. So, since Hercules saved Jupiter’s little girl, he granted Hercules the power to be known as a hero and was from then on considered a god. “Magna victoria deis et deabus!” chanted Minerva as she crowned Hercules the greatest hero Mt. Olympus has ever had.