Zombies on Mt. Olympus

by Lindsey
(New York)

It was a beautiful day on Mt. Olympus. For once, everything was going smoothly. Jupiter, king of the gods, was sitting on his throne, minding his own business until Venus approached him. He couldn’t resist her suggestion that they go make Love (who would, of course, later be known as Eros).

Bacchus, god of wine, took advantage of Jupiter’s absence and called one of his most loyal followers, Silenus. Together, they threw a party. Every god and mythological creature was there. The only person who hadn’t received an invitation was Pluto, and he was not happy about it.
Pluto looked up to Mt. Olympus from the underworld. He was miserable. He wasn’t as fortunate as his brothers, Jupiter and Neptune, who got to choose their godly positions. Pluto got stuck in the underworld. He was terribly misunderstood, and now he wasn’t even invited to the biggest party of the century. He went to his wife, Persephone, looking for some sympathy, but she remained silent. He realized he was truly alone. He came to terms with the fact that he was never going to have a perfect life, but he wanted to make his presence known. Pluto needed to crash the party, and he needed to do it in a way that no god would ever forget. “Ambulans mortuus, te voco ad Mt. Olympus,” he cried, to which the zombies responded, “Magister, veniemus ad Mt Olympus.”
With a massive army of zombies, Pluto entered the party. “Bacchanalium absolutus est,” the zombies said. The gods laughed. Nobody ever took Pluto seriously, and that was about to change. “Nos edimus cranium tuum,” chanted the zombies. This was slightly alarming, but the gods still felt they could handle it. Neptune called to the sea creatures and moved the oceans in ways that he thought would work in his benefit, but it was no use. “Tu nos consistere non potest,” the zombies said.
Suddenly, Jupiter and Venus stormed in. “Salve, Iuppiter.” Jupiter was terrified, and his immediate reaction was to release his lightening bolt. This only angered the zombies. “Tu nos occidere non potest,” one zombie said. “Mortui sumus,” screamed another, walking toward Jupiter. None of the gods knew what to do. Pluto was laughing hysterically, and the rest of the gods were panicking. Only Venus remained calm. She walked over to one of the zombies, touched his shoulder, and smiled. “Tu es formosa,” the zombie said. The zombies became furious and tried to attack her, but one by one she touched them all. “Te amamus,” they said. She beamed at them, and politely asked them to leave Mt. Olympus. Without even thinking, they all agreed. “Linquimus.”

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