ZOMBIES (and Gods)

by Robby P

One morning, Zeus was sleeping in his bed when he was suddenly awoken by a strange noise. He immediately knew what it was: the zombies had come back to attack Mount Olympus. About ten years before that morning, zombies had tried to take over the gods’ home. The zombies had been fought off easily by the gods with the help of Ares, who used his skills in war to defeat the attackers. Zeus had always remembered what the leader of the zombies yelled as they were retreating: “Sum Mohan!” The thought of it put struck fear into Zeus’s heart. But, today, he knew that he had to round up the gods to fight off the zombies again. First, he called Artemis to come and maybe just shoot a few zombies with her bow, if she wasn’t too tired. Artemis and Zeus walked out and saw millions of zombies climbing up Mount Olympus, led by Mohan. “Redierimus, Deos!” The zombies began to attack the gods’ home. Zeus and Artemis were the only gods helping out at first, but while Poseidon was sleeping, two of the zombies came up to poke him. For some reason, they thought it was funny. “Hahahae. Ridemos quia Poseidon dormiens est.” Unfortunately for them, Poseidon suddenly woke up and destroyed the zombies by hitting them with fish. “No amamus piscum,” say the zombies right before they were killed. After the zombies that were attacking Poseidon died, the gods thought they had won. They hadn’t yet. Mohan told them why. “Habemos canem zombies!” The gods were terrified of dogs. Fortunately for them, so were some of the zombies. “Timeo canes zombies. Fugiam!” said one of the zombies. About half of the zombies ran away from their own dogs. “Illi ignavi sunt,” said Hephaestus, who had also woken up to join the fight. He threw one of his massive blacksmiths hammers after the group of retreating zombies. Mohan screamed “Sum tristis quia zombies meis non hic sunt!” Zeus wanted to get this over with quickly so he could go back to bed. He sent a thunderbolt down to shock the rest of the zombies, who screamed “Uhuhuh. Tu non delicatus, Zeus!” Then all of the zombies and zombie dogs died except for Mohan. Mohan ran down the Mountain as fast as he could, screaming back to Zeus: “Tu es stultus, Zeus.” Mohan would probably come back another day, but until he did, the gods could relax.

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