When Zombies Invade the Olympic Games

by Kaila

Each year the Greek gods and goddesses are found busy at work preparing for Mt. Olympus’ biggest event… The Olympics! The gods and goddesses all compete in different events based on their skills, and never fail to bring honor and pride to Mt. Olympus. This year, Poseidon was training hard at Mt. Olympus’ town pool, swimming 84526 laps each day to be sure he was ready for the swimming medley relay. Apollo was at the shooting range perfecting his target skills for the archery competition, Ares was at the boxing gym preparing for his big match, Dionysus was practicing his jumping skills for the grape squishing contest, and Hermes was running track in preparation for the long distance run. Each god had been preparing for months in advance of the competition, and they were ready to bring home the gold, but this year, something unexpected happened, risking the chance of the Greek gods seeing victory as they always had before.

Two days before the Olympic events, the gods were meeting in the Amphitheater going over last-minute details for the big day. Everything was set in place and ready, when all of the sudden, a mob of zombies came trudging in. The gods had never seen anything like this, and so they asked the zombies their purpose for being there. Mortui ambulantes respondent, “Adsumus quod interesse ludis Olympicis volumus.” The gods apologized for the confusion, but explained to the zombies that they simply could not participate in the games because it would be unfair to them. The gods were all the best at what they did and so they told the zombies they had no chance of winning, and to turn back. “Nos non sollicitamus,” replied the zombies. “Nos exercemus et scimus nos superaturos esse. Praemia ludorum nostra erunt.” The gods were infuriated. Never before had anyone ever tried to beat them at their own game. They had brought home the gold every year since the very first Olympic event and they were not about to be beat now.

The gods went with the Zombies to Zeus, the leader of all gods, and the god in charge of the Olympics, and explained the issue to him. “Interesse ludis et praemia accipere volumus,” the zombies told him, and the gods proceeded to tell him how preposterous they thought the idea was, begging Zeus to ban them from participating in the events. “Vos oppugnare possumus, itaque nos prohibire non vultis,” said the Zombies. At this threat, Zeus began to grow annoyed. After thinking deeply on the matter for quite some time, he finally came to a decision as to whether or not the Zombies should be allowed to compete. Zeus announced, “Mortui ambulantes ludere possunt sed necesse est ei servorum nostra erunt.”

The zombies didn’t like this idea one bit. “Servorum tuum non erimus.” “Then you can not participate in the Olympics,” Zeus replied, “I’m sorry.” The zombies answered threateningly, “Vos oppugnamus ut nos non exspectatis.” Zeus warned them that if they were ever to return, he would place a curse upon them and make them his slaves forever, and so the zombies finally agreed to make peace with the Greek gods. “Nos dolemus. Hic revenire non ibunt,” said the zombies. “Gratias ago,” answered Zeus. The zombies left and were never to be seen again, and the Olympics went on as planned. The Greek gods brought home the gold once again, and peace returned on Mt. Olympus.

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