When Zombies Attack Olympus
Juppiter sat on his throne, enjoying a cup of tea early one morning. It was his day off, his favorite day, and he looked forward to relaxing in his home. The other Gods also enjoyed their leisure time. Ceres tended to a small garden. Minerva laid sprawled out in the grand library searching for new wisdom. the Little did they know, a horde of zombies approached the foot of Mount Olympus.
Juppiter had forgotten his past quarrels with the zombies, and the war he had waged against them, and consequently won. Although it had taken place thousands of years ago, the zombies had not forgotten and had sworn that once they were able to rebuild their empire, they would come for the Olympians and take back the mountain.
The zombie lord preached at the bottom of the mountain: “Hodie nos oppugnamus!” The only god who insisted on working on sunday morning was Mercurius. He was flying over the foot of the mountain when he saw the zombies making their way up the cliffs. He hurried up to the top to warn Juppiter of the trouble that approached. Even as he flew to the top he could hear the zombies chanting: ”Regimus montem!” Mercurius went as fast as he could, desperate to tell Jupiter of the approaching danger. “Mons altus est! Sed vincemus. Mons noster est. Dies videbunt”, the leader yelled as they marched. ”Zombies contra deas!”
“Juppiter! Juppiter!” Mercurius exclaimed as he burst into the room. “I have news!” Juppiter could not be bothered. “I don’t care, Mercurius. It’s my day off. It can wait. and with the motion of his hand, Mercurius suddenly far away from Juppiter and the dangerous zombies. Frantic, Mercurius made his way back and tried to get jupiter’s attention. Meanwhile, on the side of Mount Olympus, the Zombies rested, regrouped, and refocused themselves. They drew their, swords, javelins, and lances“Victoria erit nostris”
On the mountain, Mercurius continued his seemingly fruitless
attempt at getting Jupiter’s attention. Unluckily enough for him, Neptunu had decided to drop in and catch up. He flooded the building and rode in on two dolphins while holding his trident. The two shared some tea and talked about what they’d been doing lately. Neptunus shared a lovely story about a weekend he spent with some shipwrecked sailors and a blue whale. Suddenly Mercurius flew in and started screaming at Jupiter right away. “Juppiter! Juppiter! The zombies are coming! An army of zombies is coming for us!” “Mercurius!” Juppiter replied, “I don’t have time for your gossip! I’m having an important conversation! Now be gone!”
Mercurius spent the next few minutes plotting how he could get Jupiter to listen and prepare for the coming attack. But he was too late, as the zombies had resumed their marching and and started to make their way toward the very top of the mountain, where Juppiter rested. “Jupiter non hic est. Ubi est Juppiter? Da minhi mons, Juppiter!” the leader chanted as he got closer and closer to the top.
Juppiter was interrupted mid sentence when an army of zombies stormed in and stopped right before his feet. Mercurius flew in over their heads and gave Jupiter a sassy look. “Oh” said Jupiter. His expression of surprise turned into a grimace. “Who are you and what are you doing here?” The next few moments were surprising to say the least. The zombie leader stepped forward “Ego sum dux zombies” he said.He drew his golden sword and charged Jupiter on his throne. But then, all in the same instant, Juppiter threw a lightning bolt at the undead man and Neptunus flooded the great hall of the Pantheon. The zombies couldn’t swim. They were carried down the mountain in a river and all of them had drowned by the time they reached the bottom. Now they would never return and the gods could enjoy their day off without interruption.