When Zombies ATTACK: A Zombie-licious Original Story

by ChloƩ le Comte
(Bedford, NY, USA)

One fateful day, a bunch of zombies appeared at the bottom of Mount Olympus. They looked up at the mountain and all said, "Mons altus est." The zombies would have to make a long trek up the treacherous mountain, and little did they know they would encounter many obstacles along the way.

Meanwhile, at the top of Mount Olympus, the gods and goddesses were FREAKING OUT! Hermes, the messenger god, had informed them that the zombies were quickly approaching.

Hera, the mother of all gods and quite the nervous Nellie, exclaimed, "Quid faciemus, Zeus?"

Zeus, the king of the gods and not one to panic, responded, "Noli timere, Hera. Ego capio consilium."

"Quid consilium est?" asked Hera.

"Nos habemus quinque deos in via ad Montem Olympum," Zeus explained.

So, five gods and goddesses set out along the path leading up to the mountain to try to stop the zombies by creating a series of checkpoints. First along the path would be Aphrodite, the goddess of love.

When the zombies saw the beautiful Aphrodite, they exclaimed, "Ea est pulcherrima." Instantaneously, the zombies started drooling all over the place. They almost forgot that they were planning to climb the mountain, until one zombie reminded them "Sistite! Nos eamus!" With that, the zombies continued up the mountain, leaving the frustrated Aphrodite.

After some time, the zombies encountered another god, Poseidon. Being the god of the sea, Poseidon decided to take some sharks from the sea and unleash them on the zombies. The zombies, however, had lost all the nerves in their bodies and couldn't even feel the sharks biting them. Instead, they were just fascinated with the sharks, "Multos dentes habent!" After marveling at the sharks' teeth, the zombies continued on their journey.

Soon, the zombies ran into another god, this time it was Apollo. Since the zombies had risen from their graves in the ground, they hated the sun. "Sol amicus noster non est," they exclaimed.

Apollo, the god of the sun, thought he was brilliant in deciding to intensify the sun and melt the zombies away. One of the zombies, however, had read The Scarlet Letter in its previous life and became a Puritan. Being Puritanical and always prepared, that zombie remembered to bring sunscreen. Thus, every zombie had sunscreen on, and the zombies were not affected by the increased sunlight. "Sol non me afficit," one zombie said. Despite Apollo's efforts, the zombies continued on the path to the top of the mountain.

From the top of the mountain, Zeus was infuriated. He wondered how the zombies could get past his checkpoints. He contemplated a plan in case the zombies made it past all five checkpoints.

Back on the path, Artemis, the twin sister of Apollo and the goddess of the hunt, awaited the zombies. When the zombies arrived, she began to shoot arrows at the zombies, hoping they would die on the spot. This plan, however, had a crucial flaw; the zombies were already dead, thus the arrows just stayed in the zombies skin and didn't cause any bleeding. "Noli nocere nobis!" the zombies shouted. Artemis couldn't believe her eyes. With the arrows still in their skin, the zombies went onwards.

At last, the zombies were at the fifth checkpoint. Awaiting them was the god of fire, Prometheus. He thought he could burn the zombies to the ground, but once again, that Puritan zombie brought a fire extinguisher and ruined Prometheus' brilliant little plan. "Noli nos incendere. Hahahae!" laughed the Puritan zombie. Now, the zombies were past the fifth checkpoint.

Zeus could see the zombies approaching the top of the mountain. He needed to act fast before the zombies took over Mount Olympus. He decided to band all the gods and goddesses together. Teamwork, he felt, was the key to success.

So, Poseidon unleashed a huge wave to wash the zombies down the mountain, while Zeus zapped the zombies with lightening. Meanwhile Aphrodite distracted the zombies so they didn't see the wave coming at them, as well as Prometheus set the bottom of the mountain ablaze so that the zombies would collide into the fire when they reached the bottom.

Together, the gods and goddesses got rid of the zombies on the mountain, and the zombies screamed, "Non deos amamus!" all the way down the mountain.

The gods had finally defeated the zombies. At the bottom of the mountain, the zombies felt defeated. "Nos perdimus!" they cried. The zombies, with slumped shoulders and frowning faces, walked back to the graveyard and reburied themselves in their graves.

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