The Tale of Greek Gods and Zombies
by Eamon Fernandez
In the beginning, it was always sunny on Mt. Olympus. Athena, Aphrodite, Zeus, Hephaestus, Ares, and Dionysus decided to have a party in a Roman nightclub on Mt. Olympus. In the nightclub, Zeus converted his lightning bolts into glow sticks for the Olympian gods. Dionysus was the bartender at the nightclub and served wine to all the gods. Unfortunately, Aphrodite flirted with the god of war, Ares, and Hephaestus was furious because he is the husband of Aphrodite. After, Hephaestus decided to forge a god-piercing spear to throw at Ares because he was so jealous of the romance between Aphrodite and Ares. Luckily, when Hephaestus threw it at Ares, Ares was able to catch the spear and was saved. However, Ares was now mad at Hephaestus and decided to fight him outside of the nightclub.
When they walked outside, they saw Greek zombies climbing Mt. Olympus. There were hundreds of them, and they were all ferocious. Ares and Hephaestus decided to put their fight on hold to warn the other gods of the impending attack on Mt. Olympus.
They ran back into the club and told everyone about what they saw outside. After being told about the zombies, many of the gods started to panic, except the goddess of wisdom, Athena. Athena wanted everyone to calm down, and she started to come up with a plan to defeat the incoming zombie threat.
Just then, the gods heard zombies outside. They realized that the zombies had arrived.
One of the zombies said,
"Volo edere vos omnes
The gods began to tremble with fear.
Another zombie said, "Mihi placet deos edere
After hearing that, Ares threw a magical spear at one of the zombies, which went right through the zombie's chest. The zombie fell down and was killed.
Then, another zombie said, "Ego sum iratus quoniam iam meus frater est mortuus. Iam te necare volo.
" After saying this to Ares, the zombie charged at Ares, but Zeus intervened and killed the zombie with a real lightning bolt.
All of the zombies then shouted, "Nos non timemus. Nos sumus validi.
The gods laugh at the zombies because they think the zombies are weaklings.
Now, the zombies say, "Quamobrem ridetis? Nos non laetamur, sed iam maesti sumus.
" Suddenly, the gods feel terrible for making fun of the zombies.
Athena decides to reveal her plan from the beginning, which was to provide a generous gift to the zombies as a sign of peace. This gift was going to be used to defeat the zombie threat peacefully. All of the gods go along with Athena's plan, apologize to the zombies, and ask if the zombies want a gift.
One of the zombies says, "Ita vero, volo unum donum.
The gods are pleased with the zombie's answer. The gods decide to change all of the zombies back into humans.
The zombies say, "Gratias, hoc est unum commutatum bonum
Finally, the zombies leave Mt. Olympus, and the gods enjoy the peace.Return to Latin Projects
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