The Day the Zombies Went to Mount Olympus and Almost Conquered it, or Something
by Matt Solowey
(Fox Lane High School)
The zombies crested the citadel into Olympus. The head zombie declared, “Hodie est die vincemus montem Olympum.”
Mars was the first to notice this and immediately tried to fend off the marauding zombies by himself.
The zombies were too much for Mars alone. “Necamus deum belli. Dei fortes non sunt
.” The gods collectively mourned the death of Mars.
Apollo was the first to address the pressing issue of the approaching horde. He said that music would soothe the savage beast, so he and Faunus would play the music to calm them. Faunus did not like this idea for he was afraid of conflict, and left to frolic with the muses.
The zombies congregated in a field and saw Faunus playing in the flowers. The zombies created a plan “Non necamus deum naturae
Another Zombie protested “Quod non necat Faunus
“Quod Faunus scienciam terrae habet,” replied the head zombie with a smirk. The zombies disguised themselves as distressed animals and Faunus fell into their trap.
“Eum habet, iam ambulamus domo deorum
At this time Apollo came out and attempted to serenade the savage beasts to no avail, and from his sun chariot was not able to fight them directly.
The gods sought to find out who was responsible for the zombies on Olympus, so an assembly was called with all of the gods and the chief zombie in attendance.
“Quod estis hic?
” said Jupiter, who had organized this meeting, and was clearly distraught about the prior events.
The zombie chief responded “Unum dei ab estis mitto
The other gods gasped in horror at the thought
of this. All of them were yelling, and none were able to cooperate with any of the others. But one goddess, Minerva, kept a quiet cool about her and put on her helmet of invisibility and simply observed the behavior of the other gods. Her keen perception of emotion and intelligence led her straight to who she suspected to be the perpetrator.
All of the gods were very emotional, and genuine, but she felt that one was all a façade. Pluto had been by far the loudest and most coherent in this conversation contrary to how he usually interacts with the other gods, and given his status of being the god of the underworld he would be the one who would have access to zombies.
She removed her invisibility helmet and said “It is Pluto!” The gods froze, and Pluto just chuckled an awful laugh. The zombie chief was utterly frightened and tried to defend himself.
“Non est Pluto… est Faunus quia ducabimus nostris a mons
Jupiter noticed that Faunus was not at the meeting and started to get angry. “Ubi est Faunus hodie?
Apollo replied that he saw Faunus earlier that day when the zombies kidnapped him.
“Minime, non Faunum habemus, Faunus in horto erat
Apollo continued to explain how Faunus was frolicking when the zombies abducted him and threatened to kill the zombie chief if Faunus was not returned that instant.
“Iam alia monstra Faunus deis dat
Another zombie brought in Faunus in a sack and was promptly dismissed. Zeus declared that all of the zombies were to be returned to the underworld and Hades was to be banished from Olympus for the next 10,000 years. And all was right with the world. Return to Latin Projects
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