Narcotic Zombie attack

by Martin Gamer
(Pound Ridge, NY)

The zombies are approaching the peak of Mount Olympus. The zombie leader says “Cerebra deorum ēsse volumus”. Iuppiter hears this and becomes vigilant. He orders Neptunus to summon a wave. Neptunus sends the wave crashing down on the horde of zombies. “Hahahae! Natare Possumus! Aqua tua agit nihil” said the zombies. Neptunus is shocked that his wave did nothing. Diana shoots her bow and at the zombies and says “Venare Zombies est ut venare cervos!” But this is not true. The zombies don’t go down after being shot. “Noceri saggitis tuis non possumus” the zombies taunt. Zeus batters them with lightning bolts, but other than a few char marks the zombies remain mostly unscathed. Zeus reacts, “Quid? Fulmen divinum non Zombies occidere potest?” Mars approaches them with his spear. They don’t seem especially intimidated. “Cur zombies pilum meum non timent?” Surprised, but not intimidated, Mars proceeds to pick off a few zombies. Whilst spearing them he notices that their head is the headshots tend to do the trick. “Derigite capitibus zombierum!” he orders the other gods. Vulcanus charges them with a red-hot iron rod fresh out of the forge, which melts their rotted flesh on contact and stops them dead in their tracks. “Oppugnate cum magna potential, Zombies! Montem Olympum vincemus!” exclaims the zombie leading the horde. Soon, Diana and Mars capture the leader of the zombies. Then they proceed to interrogate him. “Cur cerebra nostra ēsse vultis?” Mars inquires. “Cerebra deorum ēsse volumus, quia facti sumus zombies. Facti sumus zombies quia fecimus cocainum.” The moral of the story is crack is whack, and the gods were really ancient aliens who visited the earth in the ancient past.

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