Mortui ambulantes

by Patrick Eble

One day Zeus and his wife Juno were spending a beautiful afternoon on Mt. Olympus. Juno was admiring her garden while Zeus was just relaxing. Poseidon was visiting Zeus, they were talking, and thinking how great and calm life has been lately, with no fighting. Only to find out that would soon change.


The clouds started to darken, the sky was black, and Zeus and Poseidon were concerned, as was Juno.

“Zeus, what is going on”, said Juno frightened.

“ I don’t know but I am sure its nothing”, said Zeus.

The wind stirred up, “what’s that”, said Juno holding onto Zeus’s arm.

“I am sure its just Aeolus,” replied Zeus.

Off in the distance came Aeolus. “What are you doing”, said Zeus.

“It's not me, that’s why I came up here. To figure out what is going on,” Said Aeolus.

"You're not funny, just stop!” screamed Zeus.

“It is not me, Zeus, I promise you,” said Aeolus.

The sky continued to darken when all of the sudden five zombies started marching up Mt. Olympus. Juno was scared while all of the men transformed into battle mode. The zombies were scary, dark, fierce, and ready to kill.

They were chanting “volumus Iunonem! Volumus Iunonem! Volumus Iunonem!”.

Juno took a step back as Juno was scared for her life. Jupiter, Neptune, and Aeolus looked at each other debating what to do.

From behind the mountain came Venus, the goddess of love. “What is all the noise, I am trying to sleep”.

“Look” said Jupiter, pointing down the mountain.

Venus turned her head to see the zombies climbing the mountain. “Oh I can take care of this,” said Venus “all they need is a little love.”

The zombies kept on chanting “volumus junonem! Volumus junonem! Volumus junonem!

Venus proceeded down the mountain in an attempt to stop the zombies. Venus did not realize the problem she just got herself into. As Venus approached the zombies said “vos movete! Volumus Junonem!”

“You will have to get by me first” replied Venus.

Id non difficile erit

Venus started to shake in fear as the zombies approached closer. Venus tried to put a love spell on the zombies, but it did not work. The zombies just laughed.

Haha id nihil efficient. Nos sumus mortui ambulantes”.

Venus hurried back up the mountain out of fear. Next Aeolus attempted to scare the zombies away. The zombies however were getting higher up the mountain. When Aeolus came face to face with the zombies he tried to blow them down the mountain with his wind. Again this didn’t work.

The zombies laughed again and said “haha nos nimis fortes sumus.” Aeolus tried again but nothing worked. He also fled out of fear. Poseidon stepped up and took a shot at the zombies. Now the zombies were almost at the top.

Nos volumus Junonem, tu non prohibebis nos”.

Juno now scared out of her mind holding on to Zeus for her life. Poseidon tried to wash the zombies away but this also didn’t work.

gratis sitem habebamus, et nos jejuni sumus nos volumus esse Junonem”.

“You won't get her” Poseidon said. Zeus finally had to step in to save his wife, as the zombies reached the top.

minime, magnus malus Zeus nos perterriti sumus haha” said the zombies sarcastically.

The zombies grabbed Juno. “Haec pulchra puella est mea”.

“No she is not,” said Zeus angrily.

Pugnemus ei” said the zombie.

As he did a lightning bolt came out of the sky and killed all the zombies. Juno was lying on the ground and Zeus went to hold her.

All the other gods came over, “Nice job, but it wouldn’t have worked if we didn’t tier them down, you know?” they said.

Zeus laughed and said “whatever you say,”

With that Juno looked at Zeus and said, “ I know I married the right man”.

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