Back in the day, in ancient Greece, Jupiter and Juno were ruled over the gods. As a king, Jupiter bossed around all of the other gods, and was very mean to them. He would make fun of them, and strike them with his thunder bolts. Hera would Pluto, Jupiter’s ugly brother, god of the underworld, was picked on the most.
One day, Pluto decided to take revenge on Jupiter and Juno. He realized that since Jupiter was a big bully, he had killed a lot of people. So, Pluto decided to bring his enemies back to life! He conjured up his godly skills, and created zombies!
The first zombie, reaching from the dirt, cried, “aaghblaahgabadalajake!” Pluto thought to himself, wow, these zombies are stupid. So Pluto asked for some help from Minerva, the goddess of wisdom. She was also bullied by Jupiter, so agreed to give some wisdom to the zombies. Then all of the zombies cried “Vivo!”
Now, these smart zombies turned to their master, Pluto, and shouted “Quid faciamus?” Pluto replied, “Go kill Jupiter and Juno! Attack!” The zombies then turned, and started doing the old man shuffle towards Mt. Olympus. Pluto thought to himself, they are so slow, they will never make it up the mountain. So he asked Mercury, who moved some souls to the underworld, for some extra winged feet. Mercury happened to have 60 extra winged feet, so he gave them to Pluto for his zombies.
Now the zombies were going towards Mt. Olympus quickly. One zombie shouted, at the bottom of the mountain, “Ascendunt eum
montem,” and the zombies began to climb. A chief zombie then ordered, “Undetriginta mortui ambulantes ambulant a sinestra, triginta ambulant a dextra!”
The zombies went to Jupiter’s house, and started fighting him and Juno. The zombies shouted “Pugnate! Necate!” Soon Jupiter and Juno were dead. Now the zombies shouted, “Vincimus proelium!” They were very excited after being victorious. However, now that the zombies had a taste for god blood, they wanted more. They started chanting, “Necabimus omnes deos,” and started killing other gods. Soon, all of the gods were dead except for Pluto and Venus. Pluto was saved because , he brought the zombies to life in the first place, and Venus was saved because some zombies fell in love with her. However, this caused jealousy among the zombies, who began fighting, and who then killed Venus to stop the trouble.
Now Pluto was very scared, being the only god left. He also missed his friends. So he went to the underworld, and turned his god friends (and enemies) into GOD ZOMBIES! They went to Mt. Olympus, where the zombies were hanging out, and started killing them. The zombies were so frightened, and no match for the god zombies. One regular zombie shouted, “Timeo deos. Corrite!” Another said, “Non possum id credere! Quomodo reveniunt?” More and more regular zombies were shouting in the background, “Non possom id credere,” and “Superabamur,” as they were being conquered.
Soon, all of the regular zombies were dead, and the zombie gods ruled Mt. Olympus. Pluto was never bullied again, and was a hero for saving the other gods.