Elements of Latin 10-31 (Ryan wishes he thought of this title)

by Andrew

T’was the evening of Halloween and all the gods on Mt. Olympus were preparing for the annual Halloween Banquet. Each of them was expected to attend in some sort of costume and at the end of the night they would vote on the best one. Juno had won the competition three years running, much to the chagrin of her rival Venus who felt she was the most beautiful, but was being cheated by Jupiter, who always voted for his wife. Juno had had enough of this nonsense and mumbled to herself as she was walking into the banquet hall, “Venus and Jupiter will pay for this!” The dinner was fun as always. Vesta had decorated the hall in orange and black, and Bacchus supplied plenty of wine. “Welcome to the 2012 Halloween dinner!” announced Jupiter which was followed by a round of applause. Just then, Juno stood up and yelled, “Vulcanus now!” All of a sudden zombies began surfacing from the depths of Vulcanus’ workshop and began flooding into the banquet hall and causing havoc all throughout Mt. Olympus. They came to the dinner and shouted to the stunned gods, “Tempus est ducibus novis in Olympo!” Jupiter and Venus questioned, “Who could this possibly be?” and one of the zombies shouted, “Ave Juno et ave Vulcanus!” Then they started to attack all the other gods and the unorganized gods began to flee for safety. Juno and Vulcanus took their seats at the thrown of Mt. Olympus and laughed an evil laugh.

All the other gods met in secrecy and discussed how they would deal with this zombie problem. The decided that they would have to fight their way through the zombies to consult with Juno and Vulcanus and put an end to their evil plot.
Later that night the zombie guards at the edge of the city of Mt. Olympus heard a noise in the bushes. One of them questioned, “Qui est ibi?” and the other exclaimed, “Ostende te!”Just then a giant tidal wave came crashing on the zombies and washed them off of Mt. Olympus. Neptune came out from behind the bush laughing, followed by the rest of the gods all dressed for battle. “Charge!” yelled Jupiter and the 12 gods began to sprint towards the dining hall they had escaped from the previous night. A crowd of zombies turned around and simultaneously yelled, “Vos non potestis intrare!”but Jupiter silenced them with a massive thunder bolt that destroyed them. Mars dealt with zombies riding chariots with his sword. As the zombies died they shouted, “Vivent Juno et Vulcanus!” As the gods got closer to the dining hall the zombies became more numerous. When they reached the steps they stopped in front of a massive army of zombies.
Their general shouted, “Ecce socii Vulcani.”
Jupiter responded with, “You will never be the guardians of Olympus!”
The zombie replied, “Et cur est hoc?”
“Because you are fowl beasts that belong with Pluto in the underworld!”
“Quod dixisti dabit!”
And with that the general commanded his army, “Oppugnate dei!”
The zombies outnumbered the gods, but were no match for them. The gods used all their powers together and overpowered the beasts. Only Mars, Minerva, and Venus received battle wounds but fought valiantly.
Finally the only zombie left was the general and he yelled “All Juno and Vulcanus wanted was for Juno to win the costume contest.”
“Is that so?” responded Jupiter with a chuckle.
“It is the truth!”
Just then Juno and Vulcanus appeared on the steps to the dining hall. They appeared to be sad.
Juno pleaded to Jupiter, “I am sorry for taking this so far, I was just angry all these years because I never won the costume contest!”
“It is alright,” replied Jupiter, “I always pick my wife Juno anyway! Now lets return to the festival, it is Halloween after all!” And all the gods, along with the zombie general enjoyed the bacchanalia for the rest of the night.

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